On a lot of things. :)

Some things here, I’ve already said on my previous post but this one’s from my Multiply blog I just posted today. Might as well post it here. BTW, I mentioned below that I want to change my layout, but I dunno. The blog part of the site has small width, which makes it hard for people to read. Whaddyathink?

ON BEING A BUM:
I need to stop being a bum in front of the pc all the time. I’m hating it already. Doing the same things all over again. Though I’m having fun with Photoshop, it’s not all I do. I turn to MySpace, Facebook and Friendster all the time. Especially Facebook and MySpace! BOO! It’s so damn addicting! And this blog, I get lazy updating it. I feel like I wanna change the layout again. I have one ready, already coded and all that, but I’m just too lazy.

ON GOING OUT:
Now I need to go out. I wanna go out with my gerlssss. Deym I need to talk to them! As in NEED. Lots of things I wanna tell them. o_o And I miss my high school friends. If one of you are reading thisssss! OMGZ! Let’s go out! I’m missing them badlyyyyy. Supasupasupafriends, haven’t hung out with y’all for quite some time now. Makes me sad.

ON DVDS:
I need to buy DVDs, the series of Gossip Girl and the O.C. Koreanovelas too! Like Hana Kimi, and other good stuff. You know other Koreanovelas that you can call ‘good stuff’ you can recommend me?

ON BOOKS:
I also need to buy the books I’ve been wanting to read for the whole past year. Like the last Harry Potter book. I’m a loser for not having one yet. The Twilight series! Migadddd, I’ve watched the trailer and it’s so effin’ awesome. 12/12, Twilighters! And this year’s also the release of the last book in the series. Other good books to recommend, people?

ON PROJECTS:
And I also need to finish the website I’ve been doing for the past weeks. BAH. I dunno, it’s just that whenever I think, I get headaches. LOL. I like thinking though.

ON THINGS:
AND.. I like preoccupying myself with thingssss to do.

ON TIME:
Man, time is running out. School’s almost near, atleast for me. Cos yknow how time flies by real fast? Yeah. Yeaa. Boohoo.

ON ACDC:
Lately, we[yeah, Cerisse included hahaha] have been obsessing with ACDC[Adam/Chu Dance Crew]. And their shirt’s on sale now!!! Mr. Chu made it available werrldwide! Butttt, it’s worth effin’ $21.70, shipping included! Whathebuckkk! I don’t have that kind of money. I even told my friend from Cali to buy me an ACDC shirt, his gift for my birthday! He said, “haha maybe”. I was kidding though. But I was kidding! I just hope he’s not reading this. LOL. Yeah right, like the ACDC shirts are selling like hotcakes. LOL. Last time I checked, there are only two pieces left. I just hope they print more! So by that time, I already have money to buy it cos I just spent my money on online shopping in Multiply! LOL. The ACDC shirts are for charity anyways! But Cerisse messaged Mr. Chu if we can print ACDC shirts here in the Phils., we made our own designs. But he didn’t reply, he just read it. Booooo. Maybe it’s bcos they made it available worldwide and he of course, assumed that the info already spread on us, so no need to reply. Soo even if we’ll have our own ACDC shirts printed… STILL! I want their ACDC sherrrt! FOREALLLZ! I wanna be part of the crew. Hahaha! That’s what Adam Sevani said on his bulletin on MySpace! “Be part of the crew.” That’s why I’m loving MySpace. You get to talk to them! Like Cerisse, he got to talk with Harry Shum, Jr.(Cable on Step Up 2)! HAHAHAHA! Anyways, nuff with the ACDC talk. My brother told me I’m obsessed wit dem already. And so as my friend from Cali. So I guess, I am obsessed with them! Haha.

ON YOUTUBE:
Does anyone of you know Nigahiga of YouTube? HAHAHA! His vids are sooo funny! The result of boredom I guess. But heck, he’s got like a million views for every video he have on his channel! He’s got like 271,450 subscribers! Include me on that. Haha. PLUS! He’s cute btw! :p Hahaha. Youtube crush, LOLZ! I’ve also subscribed on Jon M. Chu’s YTube channel and as well as the Miley&Mandy Show. And I’m wonderin’, what’s up with singing and ukeleles in the U.S.? I dunno, it’s like very popular. I love this one though, Windward Skies cover. Thanks to my friend for showing that to me. And I saw this very kawaii video too called Animal Idol. Yeah, an American Idol for animals. Lol. So maybe you figured out what I do whenever I’m online. I just don’t get how I can spend my whole day just doing all these. Sux000.

ON MUSIC:
I just realized my taste for music has uhmm, how do you put it, broaden? I dunno, I just like listening to country songs lately. Thanks to MySpaceeeee! I just realized how I love praise songs too. Hillsong United will be having a concert here on the 26th! A day just before my berrrrthdayyym. I would love to see them live. And oh, I love hearing old school songs lately! It lights me up, brings a smile to my face. Imma download Backstreet Boys songs. What other good old songs are there? Make me remember. And I had my seat reserved on Marie Digby’s online concert on the 19th, 6am, our time. That’s veryyy early so I have to like get up at around 5am. I bet there’ll be a massive site traffic. I just hope my PC won’t crash. I want to buy her album! As well as Taylor Swift’s album. I heard her songs on MS and I loved it. Anywaysss…

ON AGE:
I feel like I’m 17 already. HAHA. ) I still have 19 days left to enjoy my sweeeettt 16. Was it sweet? Ionnooo. LOL.

ON AMERICAN IDOL:
Top 4 finalists are the 2 Davids, Syesha and Jason Castro. After their performance? I bet Jason Castro will go. So top 3 are the 2 Davids and Syesha. My top 2? The 2 Davids. David Archuleta and David Cook. Whoever wins, it’s okay. They’re both good.

ON REALITY:
Reality slapped me once again on my face! LIKE IT ALWAYS DOES! ) After I read Anna’s S-S.org blog! Haha. Ooh, Imma post this on my blogspot too. I need to like, update that from my random blahs.

ON RENZ:
I’m sorry I wasn’t able to give to you your vectorrrr! Haha. Sorry talagaaaa! But you can wait more right? Hehe. Thanks Renzzyyy!

Can I chill for a minute?

March 14, last year high school pa lang ako. Finals namin. Ayon sa aking 2007 planner.

March 15, birthday na pala ni Val ngayon, HAPPY BIRTHDAY VAL! Finals pa rin namin.

Fast forward to today..
College ako. Hindi pa namin finals, hindi pa rin magtatapos ang school para sa ‘min. Madaming gagawin. Seryoso, sobrang busy these past few days. Actually weeks ago pa sobrang dami nang gagawin. Ngayon ko lang na-realize. Tipong ayoko nang humarap sa computer kasi hindi ko na magagawa yung mga iba kong gustong gawin, like movie marathons, TV watching, kulitan with my family, and stuff like that. Kapag nasa harapan kasi ako ng PC, nagiging anti-social ako. Pag may ginagawa ako dito, super focused talaga. Kaya nasisira mata ko e. Haha. At hindi na ako makatayo sa kinauupuan ko. Swear, ganun. Pero hindi pwedeng hindi akong humarap sa PC. Dahil MMA ang kurso ko at forever computer-related ito. Kelangan ko ring i-check araw-araw ang mail ko, ang online shop namin, ang multiply ko(dahil napag-iiwanan na ako, marami pa rin akong hindi nauupload), ang friendster ko(dahil ayoko naman na late reply sa comments), at ang blog ko.

Buti Friday ngayon, nakanood ako ng TV. Napanood ko ang ending ng Marimar. Grabe yun oh, pinagkagastusan talaga. Ang pretty talaga ni Marian Rivera. Haha. Anywayyyy, nagpunta ako dito sa PC para i-edit yung remaining pics nung batchmate ko dati na debut sa 28th. Para wala nang dagdag pproblemahin. Ma-stress pa ako e. LOLz. Pero hindi ko pa rin siya ginagawa. Uh-oh. Dapat kasi natutulog na rin ako ngayon. Kasi maaga pa ako bukas dahil may practice kami for our P.E. Dance on Monday na Tango. And magppractice na rin kami for our Finals which is HIPHOP! Ohyea! I so missed dancing this kaya sobrang natuwa ako nung nalaman kong yan ang finals namin! Hehe. Tapos after the practice, we’re gonna continue the shoot for Jamila’s debut. This time, video naman. For the last few weeks kasi, puro photoshoots. So video na gagawin namin ngayon. Then yung classmate namin nung high school said na baka may celebration yung kaklase namin ng birthday niya. Di pa namin alam kung meron.

Then on Sunday, my barkada and I will have another bonding moment at TriNoma. We’re gonna watch Step up 2, lunch then ayun. We planned on having this every month just to keep in touch. But I said hanggang 4pm lang siguro kasi Palm Sunday at syempre magsisimba kami dba.

Aside from that, meron pang PHILOMA(Philosophy of Man) project na is-shoot, FILIP13(Retorika) song adaption(lol, we chose With You by Chris Brown, my blockmate already made the lyrics), Business Math quizzes to worry about, World Literature classes(pinoproblema namin ang mga stories at poems, oo. haha), COMSK2x(Technical Literature) multimedia resume and project proposal, and uh.. yeah. I think that’s pretty much it. It’s a lot, I tell you. Plus the Course Approval thingy pa pala! Di pa approved yung enlisted subjects ko kahit na napasa ko na yung requirements sa academic adviser ko. Oh well. Tapos ano pa ba.. basta, yan. Hectic. So, sorry if hindi ako nakakadalaw sa mga blogs niyo. Malapit na rin ang end ng classes(yeah like April 19) so busy talaga. Pero I’m not stressing YET. I hope I won’t! Oh well.

I guess all of us are busy. Some update lang. Naaliw ako sa journal na ginawa namin for Filipino for almost a week, everyday! Ayos din pala ang may entry araw-araw. Pero siguro for myself lang? Haha. Wala lang, baka ma-trip-an ko sometime. Good thing there’s the Holy Week break! almost 4 days of break. Pero marami pa rin akong gagawin kahit break. Like go to church, celebrate the Holy week and academic stuff. Yeah.

good luck sa ‘ting lahat. random stuff lang. thanks for those who dropped by!

Parteeyyy month.

November is my party month. 3 out of 4 Saturdays this month(including this coming Saturday – the 24th), I’ve been out. YAY! Birthdays, birthdays, birthdays… and more birthdays. Most of the people I know have their birthdays during November, actually October-November. But this month, my Saturdays were really hectic(yuck, peling sikat? haha joke lang).

The first Saturday of this month, I told my parents and brothers that my blockmate will have her debut(it’s an informal one) and it’ll be a costume party(Halloween e, hehe). It was in Makati, near Greenbelt which was very far from where I live. GAH, North to South. The next week, I told them that my high school classmate was going to celebrate his birthday. It was a false alarm though. I really thought it was that Saturday which was the 10th, only to find out that it’s not until the week after that. Haha. I didn’t know his birthday was on the 17th(bad, haha). So I was stuck at home, in front of the PC. The problem was, it’s my high school senior ka-barkada 18th birthday party that same night my high school classmate’s birthday. GAH. So just like last year, I attended two birthday parties on the same night. And now, my high school super friend is celebrating her birthday on the 24th although her birthday is on the 23rd.

Last Sunday, my mom and dad told me, “Walang party ngayong Saturday ah.” I was like, “Hala.” HAHA. Grabe. I had the feeling that they don’t believe me anymore. Haha. But WTH man, the birthday parties were actually true! Like, I’m gonna lie to them? I have never ever done that in my life just to get out on weekends. I swear! I’m a good girl. LOL. I can’t blame them though. If I put myself on their shoes, it’s really doubtful that every week my excuse was “Birthday nung kaklase ko dati e, si Ano..” But what can I say? They can’t blame me either. It’s not my fault that most of the people I know were born on the month of November. To think that most of them are my high school super friends, of course, I would not want to miss their birthday celebrations for anything else! Why? Because I so miss them! I miss hanging out with them and we have a lot of catching up to do. I’ve been dying to see them since the reunion last July and some, since graduation.

So for Saturday, I asked them last night if I can go so I can inform my former classmate if I can go or not. Fortunately, they agreed. Yey! Man, this was the only month where I went out every weekend. I swear. Since school started, every weekend, I’ve been at home being a bum. Sleeping or whatever. Lol. And this Saturday is the last party I’ll go to.. hmm, I take it back. LOL. December is coming up which means another high school get together. I hope! Haha.

–extra–
Anyway, last November 17 was really a fun fun night! When two of my high school senior barkada saw me, they were both screaming and jumping! HAHAHA. Imagine us doing that outside Starbucks, Convergy’s. Haha. Aww, it was a happy sight. My favorite line that night was, “So, kamusta ka naman, *name*?” Haha. The time we spent together wasn’t enough because we arrived at my ka-barkada’s house at almost 9pm because we were waiting for them at Convergy’s. We didn’t know the way to her house and I actually forgot na rin. Layo kasi, madaming pasikot-sikot. Tipong, madaming villages sa isang village(Filinvest II). Haha. Gah. So, we didn’t have the time to really talk about things. But it was really great seeing them again. After that, we went to Eastwood to go to another party. There were only 5 of us from my friend’s debut who went. We got there at around 11pm. It was so late! People were waiting for us and our former classmate didn’t know where to celebrate his birthday in Ewood. Haha, great. It was his(or her, haha) first time. It was a Saturday, obviously, everything’s full. But it was okay, we went to Ipanema. Sosyal, lumelevel-up na sila, buma-bar na ngayon. Haha. It was super fun! But it was scary at the same time. HAHA. Shocks. I’m not used to seeing people grinding and stuff anymore. I was like, “Eww, wth.” Haha. But this really freaked me out! I was dancing with my friends who all have their partners, and I don’t have one(haha), then this guy made his way between my friends and danced in front of me. DAMNIT! =)) I didn’t know what to do! Grabe. I hid at the back of my classmate thinking that he will get the signal that I don’t want to dance with people I don’t know(lol). But he followed me and kept on dancing. WTF. =)) Fortunately, my former girl classmate saved my life. LOL. She made his way between the guy and me and she danced with the guy. WHEW. Then she asked, “Ok ka lang, Cha?” Hahaha. WTFWTF. Then there’s this other guy who kept looking(wthhhhh!!) and is slowly getting nearer and nearer. Tipong humahanap ng tiempo. When I saw that, I told my guy friend, “Uy, Kevin! Palit tayo ng pwesto.. dito ka, dyan ako! Please please!” ) Then, the guy went away and went back to his friends. HAHA. BS. I’m really thankful I was with my friends. They’re really super! Haha. Sabi nga naming mga girls, “Buti na lang andyan yung mga machong bantay natin.” Haha. Buti na lang talaga! Di na talaga ako sanay. =)) But overall, it was a really fun night! I went home at around 2am. Yay. I’m looking forward to hang out with them again.

–pictures–

photos by Kevin Mata. (Kamusta yon, nagppicture-an kami habang nagsasayaw? Haha.)

Week-long vacation, Cost-cutting & Birthdays.

Hey everyone. How’s your vacation bloggers? It’s pretty long especially for those who are having their sembreaks. It’s nice to recharge our energies after a stressful day, week, month, term, semester or whatsoever. My vacation was pretty nice although I just stayed at home. At least I don’t have any homeworks, quizzes and projects to worry about now. ^_^ I’m just relaxing. Hehe. Midterms is already finished just last Wednesday. Filipino was our last midterm and it was okay. I was late though. Lol. Damn you 7am classes! Anyway, our online enlistment starts on Monday. I’m gonna get a good schedule! NO MORE 7AM CLASSES FOR ME! Nu-uh! There’s no way, kokey! Haha. I hope I can be classmates with some of my blockmates in 3rd term. In at least one to two subjects! Or if I’m lucky, all subjects. Haha. It’s possible, isn’t it?

Anyway, aside from worrying about the online enlistment, ’cause we all don’t know how to yet, our 2nd half for 2nd term starts on Monday! It means another set of projects, quizzes and all those school works! It’s time to change my way of doing things. I should start doing it right away and not wait 2 or 3 days before the deadline to come knocking at my door. Why? ‘Cause it sucks. It’s stressful. It means sleepless nights and pressure. I hate it. I don’t want myself to get used to it. I don’t want my work to pile up! Kelangan ko na magsipag ulit. I should follow my schedules. What in the world are organizers for? It’s useless if I don’t follow it. I wonder what’s in Starbucks for Christmas? LOL. We worked hard for our Starbucks planners last year, mind you. Yes, we worked hard for it. Working hard means getting ourselves broke at the end of the year just to get that freakin’ planner! But it’s fine, we wanted it anyway. And I get to bond with my friends a lot during those days. I miss those times! Plus you have your favorite Starbucks drink with you. Ahhhh, love! Haha. But now, I don’t go to Starbucks often. Cost-cutting ako eh. But even if I cut my starbucks indulgences, I’m still broke. Damnit. Christmas is fast approaching and I don’t have money to buy gifts! Nagagastos ko yung ipon ko. Di pa rin ako nakakapag-start mag-ipon. Gastos ko kasi. I HATE IT. Hindi pwede ito. Pano na ang gusto kong tablet? at and DSLR? Hmpp. Idagdag mo pa sa gastos ang online shopping sa multiply. WAHH. ARGH. Okay, stop. This needs action. Kelangan ko na talaga mag-ipon. -_- Kaya ko ‘to.

It’s unusual of me to blog at this time. It’s 1:47am on my computer clock. I got home at around 12 something AM from Makati. It was my blockmate’s debut at Toyz Cafe. It was an informal one. And since it’s Halloween, it’s a costume party. I wore a white bubble dress with butterfly wings and wand. LOL. I’m a fairy! Hahaha. It was fun. Tumugtog ang Day One Movement. Si Sib Sibulo yung vocalist nila. Grabe, ang lapit ko sa stage. Literally! Tipong nasa harap ko na yung band. Ako lang yung andun malapit sa kanila. Walang gustong maki-share sa inuupuan ko. Sofa kasi yun. Hahaha, nakakahiyang tumingin sa banda. Atsaka magkaka-stiff neck ako kung pinanood ko sila buong set nila. Di ko kasi maharap sa stage yung sofa, mabigat e. I also got a gift certificate worth P1,000 from Rudy Project. Sponsor kasi nila. So lahat nung naka-costume, may gift certificate. Sponsor rin pala niya yung Coors Light. Libre ang beer namin! Hahaha. Yung invitation, may stub pa para sa vodka. Parang ticket lang e noh. Haha. Pure vodka pala yung nainom ko kanina. Di ko alam yun talaga. Akala ko nahaluan na siya ng lime para di malakas ang tama. Pero wala namang epekto sakin. Haha. At ayoko talaga ng lasa ng beer. Di ako beer person. Atsaka occasionally lang naman ako umiinom. Mabait ako e. Wahehehe.

My next birthday stop will be on November… 17. Which means.. I can’t go to my org’s Photo-Video Workshop which will be held on Nov.17-18. It’s an out-of-town trip to Bataan. I sossss wanna go! But heck, I promised Nikita(my high school ka-barkada) that I’ll go. And I miss my high school friends. It’s one way of bonding with them again. Debut pala yun. Pero simple lang, sa bahay lang niya. Marami talagang may birthday tuwing November. At least sa mga kakilala ko, marami ang November. One year na pala nakalipas. Last year dalawang birthday party in-attend-an namin sa same na araw. After nung birthday party ni Nikita nun sa bahay nila, pumunta naman kami sa birthday party ng isa pa naming barkada sa Timog. High school pa ko nun. Ang saya. Pero ngayon, shet, college na. Ang bilis pa ng araw. 17 na ko next year! Legal na ang iba sa ‘min nun. Ako 2 years pa. Tumatanda na talaga kami. Kaya live life to the fullest. Time flies by so fast. Ay bago pa pala ako mag-17, magpaPasko at New Year muna. Masyado akong excited e. Haha.

Mahaba na ‘to. Masyado akong madaldal. Haha. Thanks for taking the time to read though. Take care bloggers!

Once is enough, twice is stupidity and too much.

I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life that when the time I realize it, I regret it so much. But as time goes by, I realize that mistakes aren’t so bad. Because I get to learn from it; and learning not to commit the same mistake again.

I’ve learned to say the line, “Once is enough, twice is stupidity and too much” to myself.

Just like my past wrongs, I know in time, I can accept and realize that this recent mistake I made will make me a wiser and better person. But not now. I’m still grieving over the fact that I lost a person over this. At least, that’s what I want to think. I lost a friend, someone who made me realize that I can be happy again.. and someone who made me realize that I can open my heart again.

I know it was a wrong move. I never should have done it, or never should have said it, rather. I thought it was fine, for I thought it was just a passing feeling; a simple admiration for someone so nice to me and someone who makes me laugh and happy. But I never thought it could lead to something deeper, something I never expected to happen. It was not love. Let’s say, it’s better said as, a lot like love.

It was pretty fine at first. The friendship went on as it is, like nothing happened or like I never said anything. I felt relieved that he didn’t change his ways towards me.

But things started to become hard and confusing for me. He knows. And we’re friends. That sucks, ’cause I felt it first. It’s not wrong to like someone, it’s just that, what I did was wrong. Well, not so wrong, but just improper; not right. I never thought it was included in GUYS101 to not tell that you like him or have a little crush on him. I mean, what’s the big deal? It’s just a little crush. It’s not like your world revolves around him.

And now.. things started to change. The first few weeks was pretty fine, I never noticed a change at all. But now, things are different. Wayyy too different. And it’s quite sad. I know things will never be the same again. I don’t even know how to talk to him or approach him.

I regret that I may completely lose the friendship. But you know, it was kind of my favorite mistake. I never thought I could have that courage. It was a first, and I opt not to do it again, I hope. Now, I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how things would be. I just hope for the better.

He’s happy, I guess. And I should be, too.

Leave the false hopes behind, so I can finally move from where I stand.

-

Blog post is edited due to decisions that I will make my blog publicly announced to everyone I know.

Of Happiness and Being Grateful

‘Cause I’ve been in places where I couldn’t even see the light of day, and then you came. And I’m grateful.. you showed me the way back to my beautiful..

Yes. Maybe God really has a reason why we crossed paths. That person came to my life for a purpose. I came to that person’s life for a purpose too. And I know that purpose. When we met, I didn’t realize it suddenly.. but days went and I knew, I wanted that person to be happy. And that person is now, happy than ever. And I am glad. But what I never expected or even wanted to like him. He made me happy. Hey you. do you know that? He made me happy without doing anything at all. Just talking to him made me happy. I was happy before he came. But when he did, I was happier than ever!

You know that feeling when you wake up in the morning and you know it’s going to be a wonderful day? That feeling when you wake up in the morning and your day starts with a smile? That even when things go bad or from bad to worse and everything is so stressing, you know everything will be alright? That feeling when you see everything in a positive way? That feeling of wanting to wake up every day? That feeling when you get to appreciate life more? That feeling when you have every reason to live and live it to the fullest? That feeling of plain contentment and joy? It feels so good right? Yes, it does. It felt so good. He made me feel all these.

You see, he somehow came at the right time. I was in the verge of being somehow sad at times. That old feeling when I am looking for something I don’t even know what. That feeling of filling up my emptiness. That feeling of finding and having something or someone who will find and put the remaining empty pieces of my heart back. That feeling of bringing my heart back to life. I am happy though even if I feel these at times. I am happy because I get to study at my preferred school, with my preferred course.. because I’m happy with my friends and my family.. and because I have a deeper relationship with God. I had every reason to want to live and every reason to be happy. But you know, I still was broken then. I still was picking up the remaining shattered pieces of my heart and fixing it back.

And he came. I didn’t expect that he can make me happier. I didn’t expect that I could like him more than a friend. I was in denial at first, because I said to myself that I still can’t handle it if I fall real hard and get shattered all over again, worse than what happened to me then. I think I couldn’t handle it. And besides, I’m not in a rush. But man, I just couldn’t explain what I felt. I felt happy every time I talked to him. I knew it but still was thinking why I felt that way. Until I accepted it myself although I was super scared. I said I can’t let it fall any deeper than what I was feeling then.

But sometimes, you are not just the key to someone’s happiness. Sometimes, it is another person. And sometimes, you have to let go of your own happiness just to make that someone happy.

By doing that, I’ve finally done my purpose to him: for him to be happy.

And I realized what God wanted me to realize. I know I can like(as in super) or love again, I just don’t want to believe it. He came, and I believed. I was unhopeful of being able to feel happiness again. He came, and I was able to be happier than ever. I was afraid of falling and getting hurt and taking risks. He came, and I conquered all those.

Basically, it was for me to realize not to give up on love and happiness. The door had always been open.. It’s just me not wanting to go inside for fear of failing myself and my heart. Life is all about taking risks.

And so we are fair. He has finally done his purpose to me.

Moving forward… and we’ll still be friends.. good friends. But still not now, I’m getting there.

Clarity.

I said to Cuz, “Labo kasi eh. Kaya ayoko ng ganito e.” She said, “Alam mo, lilinaw rin ang lahat. Soon.” So now is the ‘soon‘. I just didn’t think it would be this soon.

Malabo noon, oo. Nalalabuan ako. Ilang beses na akong nalalabuan sa mga bagay-bagay. Pero hindi ko yun inisip. I mean, iniwasan kong isipin yun. Feeling ko kasi sayang ang oras ko kakaisip sa mga ganung bagay samantalang marami akong bagay na mas mahalaga pang gawin kesa dun. Malabo noon, malinaw na ngayon. Ngayon lang. Salamat sa technology.

May use rin pala ang pagsali sa isang community sa WWW, marami kang nalalaman at nadidiskubre. Gaya na lang ng nalaman ko. Ako lang nag-justify, pero parang sinampal sa mukha ko yung info na yun eh.

Malinaw na siya ngayon. Malinaw na naman siya noon e, ayaw ko lang tanggapin. Kinailangan ko lang ng confirmation dun sa taong yun. Kanina lang, nalaman ko.

Hindi naman ako nasaktan. Nalungkot lang ako. Nataon pa sa pag-release ng course cards ko. Badtrip pa naman ako sa dalawang grades ko. Dahilan kung bakit hindi ako masasali sa Dean’s List. Ok lang, medyo nags-sink-in na rin siya ngayon. Pero mahirap pa rin. Alam ko kakayanin ko ‘to.

2 days na pala akong nandito sa GenSan. Simula nung September 5. Pero parang kahapon lang. Ang bilis.

Well, at least, malinaw na sa ‘kin ang lahat ngayon. Hindi na ‘ko mac-confuse. Hindi na akong magdadalawang isip kung itutuloy ko pa ba ‘to or hindi na.

Isang experience ‘to na madadala ko nanaman sa pagpapatuloy ko sa buhay ko. First time ‘to ulit. Madaming first time at first time ulit. Nalaman ko na after how long, kaya ko pa palang maging masaya ulit. Yung mas masaya pa sa kasiyahan ko dati. Nalaman ko na, kaya ko pang buksan ang puso ko. Kasi sobrang takot ako noon. After “the” incident back in 3rd year.. natakot talaga akong mahulog ulit. Na-paranoid ako. Nahirapan akong mag-trust sa tao sa mga ganung cases. Alam kong matagal na ang 2 years, pero ganun eh. Mahirap pag puso na ang pinag-uusapan.

Ayoko na. Tama na. Magiging masaya rin ako talaga, someday. Friends kami, ok na yun. At sakanya, I learned to overcome my fear.

Kaya kung binabasa mo ‘to ngayon, salamat.

Thank you God. You answered my prayer, once again.

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Blog post was changed due to decisions that I will make my blog publicly announced to everyone I know.

I had a dream.

After such a long time of not dreaming.. i had a dream. I thought it was real at first. Haha. But when I woke up I realized, hindi pala. )

It was kind of weird. But it’s really funnyyyyyyy for me ) Sa lahat ba naman ng mapapanaginipan ko, yun pa? Salamat sa’yo, nanaginip ako ulit. Haha.

Float like a coke float, sprite float and whatever float. Whatever floats your boat!
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Okay so now im hungry.

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lagot, wala naman siguro nakakabasa pa neto ulit dba. ) HAHA. not in my multiply. im going to erase the link. haha.
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This blog entry is edited due to decisions that I will make my blog publicly announced to everyone I know. :p I’ll put my blog link back in my multiply.

Hayyy.

O well. So, it’s Friday and there are no classes for high school and college students. It’s for the SK Registration thingy. Ayun.

My day went well. Super! It started happy. Hahaha. Why? Because of good friends making me laugh. Then I went to school to get my yearbook.

Sht. I never thought I could step foot at OLGM again. So when I did, grabe… it felt so sad. I imagined things though. Like.. pagpasok ko pa lang sa gate, akala ko parang naka-uniform ako ng OL. Pumapasok ako dun. Then, there were people sa canteen, tambay sa umbrellas. Naglalakad galing sa HS building. The usual stuff I see at school. Students na magulo and all. Kumakain. But step back into reality, there’s nothing there. It’s just the guards, the tall grasses (i bet hindi na sya pinutol since graduation), the trees, the rustling of the leaves… It’s just OLGM.. plain & bare. A place that won’t be the same again. If it’s still open, it should have been a place where students go to learn.. where students fill in their memories, the good and the bad.. where students walk, run, and have fun around.. at the gym, classroom, hallways, canteen, Grace Park and anywhere.. where students greet their teachers when they meet them.. where those lower batches stayed and continue filling in memories of their Alma Mater. But they are nowhere to be found. No students, no teachers. It’s sad being there.

It’s just a memory relived once again. And we will never forget that place. A place where wonderful memories, dreams & aspirations were made, where camraderie was practiced, where treasured friends were bonded and where teachers made a difference.

In my 4 years of my life, it has been a part of me. 4 years may probably be somewhat short compared to others who were there all their lives. But in those 4 years, I learned to love my Alma Mater. In that institution, I learned so much. From boosting my confidence, having belief in myself, etc. And there, I met wonderful people. Friends, mentors, teachers.. they were the ones who made my stay there so worthwhile. They were the ones whom I created memories with.. memories that I will treasure forever. So, now I’m in college.. I miss them badly! Super iba pa rin talaga. But anyway, ganun talaga. I hope there would be another reunion and hopefully, mas madami kami! Hehe.

I miss everything about High School.

I felt sad leaving the school gates. Siguro yun yung last time na gagawin ko yun. But then, hopefully not. Sana makapasok pa ko ulit dun. With my HS friends naman. Hehe.

It would be a place that won’t be forgotten. It may be different in 3 or 4 years from now, but it would still be the same place for us, Montessorians. It would still be OLGMSC in our minds.

So enough with the drama.

Wow, this day started well and ended well. So full of laughter. Those two friends made my day. Haha. Hey you both, thanks! Haha.
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..i may be all alone tonight, but i believe in the magic that someone, is meant to sit beside me someday..

Thank you God.

sandali na lng
maaari bang pag bigyan
aalis na nga
maaari bang hawakan ang iyong mga kamay
sana ay maabot ng langit ang iyong mga ngiti
sana ay masilip

refrain:
wag kang mag alala
di ko ipipilit sayo
kahit na lilipad ang isip ko’y torete sayo

ilang gabi pa nga lang
ng tayo’y pinagtagpo
na parang may tumulak
nanlalamig, nanginginig na ako

akala ko nung una
may bukas ang ganito
mabuti pang umiwas
pero salamat na rin at nagtagpo

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Wow.
Thanks ha.
Thanks for clarifying things even without saying it.
I get it.

Thank you God.

Hey you, it’s nice that I met you.
You’re nice and you’re my friend.
You’ll always be.
Buti na lang.

Ang galing talaga ni God.
Sinagot Niya agad yung confusion ko.

But then again, things just aren’t the same.
I’m gonna miss those.
Though that was only for a while, it made an impact.
And thanks for making me smile again. :p

Laugh trip pa rin, ha?