You’ll always be a fart to me.

Heyyyy! Just some updates. :] So it’s exactly 8 days before school starts! YAY! Hello, sophomore year! Deym, time flies by reallll fast. It’s gonna be all school work now beybbb! At least I have something to worry about and think about and yeah. I guess I like it better when there’s school. I got things to do and I don’t bore myself. I dunno but since college, I just want to go to school. Hahaha. Srsly! You know during HS when classes get suspended cos of some typhoons or other reasons, I get really happy cos there’s no school. But now? I feel otherwise. Haha. Weird. But I think that’s good. I love learning new things. Better yet, I love education. :]

Anyway, this one month summer has been treating me so-so. I felt different things. I felt melancholic, nostalgic, happy, and other kind of stuff. I, once again, learned new things. I guess that’s something inevitable in life. Of course. We’re here to learn, right? And those things we learn make us discover who we are. I’ve just realized a lot of things. Like, how things can change especially feelings, like 7 years ago you may not like someone but 7 years later you realize you feel something ‘different’ towards that someone; how you can terribly miss someone so bad(yeah, terrible na bad pa haha); how you can feel really stupid after getting mad angry about something and the next day you realize you were just totally carried away of what happened; how you get sad when you think that that someone was once yours but now is living another kind of life far from yours; and other things I can’t put into words. There are just some things that’s fairly impossible to happen now yet you still hope that those things will come back to the way it used to be. It sucks like that.

Also I have come to think that no matter what, no matter how many years have passed or how many things may have changed, I will always be that person’s number one. I will always be that first. I should be thankful that we’re still friends. And I’m glad that that person still keeps me updated about the things happening in his life. If you think this is some ‘ex’, no it’s not. I haven’t had any boyfriend since birth, it’s just some ‘past’ thingy. OY. HAHA. Boink, drama much? LOL. I don’t wanna elaborate more, that person MIGHT read this. Stupid, I gave him the URL of this blog. Who knows, haha, I just don’t want that person to know YET. If ever I plan on telling that person someday. Maybe. So yeah, I just never thought I’d feel like this, that’s why. LOL.

So enough of that. :p I went to school yesterday to get an adjustment form and a deferred payment plan. My course adjustment schedule is on the 16th, Friday! OMGZ. Cerisse and I doesn’t have the same schedule! I should’ve went to school last Friday! BAH. I’m gonna add one subject since I’m underload and I don’t want that. The only schedule I saw that will fit my already encoded sched is the Tuesday&Thursday sched for CATHWOR(Catholic Worship) subject which is. 2:40-4:10…. OMGZ. I just realized that it doesn’t fit at all! HAHAHAHA. I thought it was a one day schedule. DEYM. WHAT A BUMMER. I have a Tuesday class 2:45-5:45! I just checked my sched again, OMGZ. WTHWTHWTH. Cerisseeeee, what naaaa? Take FREHAND? Hahaha. SHOCKS. SHOCKERRRR. Mannnn. :]]]]]] Why didn’t I check my sched earlier? Stupid! ) Grr. Okay, wait, imma calm myself down. Haha.

So yeah. I didn’t know that yesterday was the FOP(Frosh Orientation Program)! Haha. I went and I didn’t know. I wanna be an orientor next year for incoming frosh. It’s fun really! Haha. Oh well. My mom and my brother went inside the SDA building, by the way. Haha. My brotha parked in the carpark, LOLZ. The guard asked him, “Estudyante po?” He said, “Graduate na.” HAHAHA! Too bad I wasn’t able to like tour them around since we’re going somewhere after. Maybe on Friday. They said they’ll just stay in the cafeteria. And oh yessss I got to wear slippers inside the SDA building! Hahaha. Slippers are banned inside our campus. If you get caught, uh-oh, hello Disciplinary Office! I got caught once in the main building. Bah. :]] Never wore slippers since then :]] After school, we went to my brother’s school since he’ll get a form to get his Transcript of Records and Diploma. He just graduated last March so I’m the only one left in the family studying. Yayyy. Then we ate at KFC then went to Ortigas to fetch my brother’s girlfriend from work.

AND we got home at around 10pm! WTH. It’s sooooo traffic! We were in the QC Circle at around 7pm? But we were almost there for like an hour! I just slept. Haha. It’s prolly because of the transport strike. People were walking in the streets, bunch of them! Walang masakyan. Yay. To think it’s raining, so hassle! I think it’s good that I haven’t been in front of the PC for one whole day. Natiis ko. Hahaha.

Anyway that’s it for now. I’m trying to figure out why I can’t view blogspot sites. Google keeps on telling that it’s “404 FORBIDDEN”. WTH? Some virus crap daw. Blah. Why do you think it’s like that? Grabe, napahaba nanaman post ko. Betta get going before this gets longer than this already long one, haha. :]

That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you’ll be with me
and you’ll never go

–
You’ll always be a part of me
I’m part of you indefinitely

A blessed day.

Last April 23, we celebrated my Dad’s birthday in our new house. Along with that is the House Blessing. So at around 10-11am, the priest arrived and after the house blessing, he ate with us. Mahaba-haba nga ang sermon niya. Haha. But it was really really nice. It was nice to bond with my family like that. The priest also told us about the Philippines, why our country is like this, etc etc, and how there is still hope for our country to rise up. Everything that’s happening in our country now are just challenges. It’s up to us how we’re going to conquer all those challenges. The government is the one that leads, guides and controls our country, but it is really us, the people, who will make our country a better place. And how are we going to do that? Go back to where everything started, family. The family is the first school, first church, first everything. That’s why family matters a lot. I have learned a lot from just one day, one day. And I love it.

Later on in the afternoon, our pastor friend from Cornerstone Christian Church dropped by to give the cake to my dad and he prayed us over. It was really touching. My dad cried. So as my brother, Kuya Carlos. I was nearly in tears, and so as my mom. I never felt God more than that day. I felt really blessed. Who could ever thought that that day would be that blessed? First birthday on our new home, I can feel God’s presence more than ever. Pastor Fred said that “your greatest wealth is the relationship with your family.” True enough. I cannot ever forget that line. He also said that no matter how many challenges had come into our lives and how many things there were that’s lost and left behind, God will give us even more than what we lost. Proverbs 24:16 says, “a righteous man falls seven times, and rises again”/”No matter how often honest people fall, they always get up again; but disaster destroys the wicked.” I know how much things aren’t the same as they were before and how many mistakes have been made in the past, but we’re almost getting to the way it has been before, only that we’re coming up as better people for the betterment of everyone, especially our family. Family is priceless.

That day, I was being sad because of something or rather someone. But after everything that has happened during that day, I had no reason to be sad at all. Because I am very blessed. I am very grateful and thankful that I am with my family. And they’re there for me, we will always have each other. And that friend I was being sad about, will also have my back, no matter what.

Well, some of the people who reads my blog knows who that person is.

You know this past few days, I’ve been… I don’t, I can’t explain how I’m feeling really. I just know that I miss someone. Period. And it’s just that no matter how much you do things, how much you occupy yourself doing a LOT of things, in the end, the pain just comes back again. The feeling and the thinking is still there. And it really sucks. Sometimes I wish I could just sleep forever. Well no, not really, but it’s in sleep that I’m peaceful and have nothing to think about. Maybe this will pass, just maybe. Maybe because it’s summer and school’s not on the way and yeah. Sigh. Why am I feeling pain? Why am I being sad? Well it’s just because reality keeps slapping me in my face. Yes yes, it does. But what can I do? It’s reality, I need to deal with it.

See, last night I turned off the PC earlier than what I used to, but I can’t sleep and I don’t want to yet. So I went to my brother’s room. Nakipagkulitan. Kumain. Nag-exercise. Palakad-lakad, pabalik-balik. Then my brother asked me, “Cha? Musta?” and how the usual me would say, “Okay lang.” Then tries to look okay. I just wanted to take that feeling away, and I can’t explain WHAT feeling that is. I played the guitar, asked my brother what song is easy to play, he told me the chords of Always Be My Baby and there, I played it. Turned on my pc again, played it over and over. Searched for the chords of Realize by Colbie Callait, Say it again by Marie Digby and all that. My fingers hurt. But it was fine. As long as I don’t feel that feeling. But after everything, it’s just didn’t work. It’s still there. So I went to sleep at 4am. Again.

I just hate how I’m always like that. Whenever I feel something that would make me ultimately happy, I always hold it back. I always hold it back. And what does it get me? It pains me. I’m always scared to get hurt. I’m always scared to be happy. Cos every time I’m happy, I always think that there will be something that will make me sad. Gah, I don’t know. I just.. blah.

Anyway, on the lighter side(lolz), I kept thinking about this conversation I had with my brother’s ex. She asked me what will I do after I graduate, then I said, “job?” She said, “further studies?” Yes, I want to. But you know how life is hard nowadays. I want to go study in another art school outside the country to get a second degree or masters or whatever you call that. I just love education. I love to learn. But she said, that she thinks I can do it. And she will continue to believe in me. She’s going to the U.S. later this year to I think, study again. She’s in Singapore right now, studying as an Economics major. How cool is that? She said she’ll help me get financial support when I really want to and I’m serious about it. And last night, I searched for the top art schools in the U.S. and I looked into The Art Institute of California and the Academy of Art University. Those are both in California, Los Angeles and California respectively. But after much surfing in both websites, I decided that I want to go to the Academy of Art University! LOLZ. But what the hell, can I ever do that? I was so overwhelmed last night when I saw all that. I don’t know though. It’s not a crime to dream, is it? Dream on, Cha. Dream on.

Anyway, that’s about it. Thanks for everyone who commented on my layout and previous blog post! Much loves.

An-April-19-blog-post

IT’S OFFICIALLY VACATION TIME FOR ME!

Been a long long time since I went online. For almost like a month I think? So I have here a little run through of what’s happened in my life for the past month:

1. We moved in to our new house in Fairview. It may be far from my school, but heck, who cares? I’m gonna make sure my sacrifices will be all worth it. Glad I’m not moving in to a new school!

2. Since we moved in to our new house, we have had delicious foods! ) As in, seriously! I have noticed that even before but my dad said it just yesterday. Thank God for the blessings!

3. Since we moved in to our new house, our internet’s bummed so I wasn’t able to go online. SMARTBRO sucks. SMARTBROken. Lol. When our account expires, we’ll surely gonna change our connection. We should.

4. Frosh year is over! Oh yes! I’m not a frosh anymore but a sophomore! Can you believe that? Cliche as it may sound but time flies by really fast. It’s so overwhelming. So many things to do, so little time. But it would help me be responsible in managing with my time, right?

5. I passed all my subjects this term! THANK GOD! I THANK GOD SO MUCH 100x!!! You know, I was worried a hell lot about my grades in two subjects. Business Math was okay until our prof told us our standings before our final exams. I had to get half of my final exam to pass! Our Final exam only had 2 questions, all worth #(forgot) points.

And my World Literature class, well I was so worried about this. In her[my prof] class, I don’t really participate. I wasn’t active. And to top off, I was always late. I knew I had a low midterm grade that I didn’t know. So I really studied for her final exam. It was the last resort I had to prove to her that I deserve a passing grade, at least. I knew I didn’t give my best this term, especially in her class. I had to prove to her that I am so much better than what she thinks. Because I know I am. I just didn’t exert much effort to make her see that, and as well as in my other subjects. I knew I wasn’t in my best form. I guess I had to be in the danger zone first to make me realize how I was and how I did. I should have done my part at the start of the term, but I didn’t. I ultimately learned the hard way.

And because of that, I ultimately promised myself that I will do much much better next time. Better than what I had been, better than what I am. I hope I will be able to do that, and not just eat my words at the end of the term, again asking God for another chance to make things right. No, I hope not. God might not give me another chance to do so because I knew I had the chance already and didn’t use it well.

6. GRADES GRADES GRADES.
COMSK2x – 3.0 Our Project Plan proposal presentation went really well and I worked hard on my video resume.
PETWODA – 3.0 Heck, why the hell my grade is 3.0? It’s the only P.E. class yet that I wasn’t able to get a 4.0! To think it was Dance! WTF? I wasn’t able to get it myself so I wasn’t able to question her about it. Anyway, it’s fine. Well, no it isn’t. I believe I deserve more than a 3.0, maybe a 3.5 will do. But I don’t know.
PHILOMA – 2.5 Well I guess I deserve this grade. Hooray for one PHILOMA prof for the cheats! I guess everyone knew the answers for the matching type and true or false(alternate answers).
RECONSE – 3.5 WHOA! I was surprised to know that I got 3.5 for this subject. Not that I don’t deserve it, I just didn’t expect to get this grade. I got 3.0 for the midterms and I managed to get this. How cool was that? )
FILIP13 – 2.5 It’s kinda okay. I got a 3.0 for the midterms and I guess I deserve this one. Maybe I didn’t get a high score in my final exams.
BMAT2x- 2.0! That would be equal to 80-84. Would you believe mehnnn?! I was just praying for a 1.0! A passing grade! But I got a 2.0 instead! How ultimately cool was that man? )
WORLITE- 1.5 Okay, I am happy that I got this grade at least! I got a missed call from my prof and that meant that I need to pass a poster-like work to pull up my grade. I will make an artwork about one story we discussed and how I understood it in class. A catchy by-line is required too, just like what we did in our poster activity in class. I had it printed on A4 and had it laminated. My friends were miss called too. We were really scared. I rushed the poster I did ’cause my prof called at around 12:30-1:00-ish in the morning and I was already asleep then. I woke up at 10:30am! And my phone was bombarded with my friends’ text messages. I called them and they were already at school. So I made the poster for like 2 hours and arrived at school at around 3pm. So yeah, we waited for like an hour because our prof wasn’t there yet. I thought I’m going to be there for only 30 minutes but add an hour on that, so my brothers waited for me at McDo for about 1 and a half hour. Oopsie. ) My prof told me that I passed the final exam and told me that maybe I studied for the exam ) Well I did, really. So yeah. Here’s my work btw.

Again, it’s a vector. The first vector is recycled. The second and third one, well, I got their pictures from my brother’s wedding. LOL. I’ve been addicted to doing vectors lately. I did it for only two hours ’cause I was rushing so it’s not so good.

7. My dad’s birthday is coming up! It’s on Wednesday. It turns out that Ate Lhyn[my cousin's wife] and Ate Gem’s[family friend] daughter is also celebrating their birthday on the same day! So we’re gonna celebrate it here in our new home! That would be really fun! First birthday on our new house. The house blessing will be on that day too. I’m gonna post a lot of pictures if I can take a lot.

8. NEW LAYOUT! How do you like it?

So that’s it.

I missed a lot in the web world and as well as in the blogosphere. I missed reading your blogs! I’m surely going to keep up with everything. Ohyay.

Not-so-holy-week.

Last night was the most FUNNEST night I ever had since I don’t know when! SRSLY! It was an unexpected get-together, or night out as you may call it.

But anyway, I’m going to start off with my day. First, Mom, Dad and I went to Fairview to check when we can already move some things in the house. Probably, by Monday we can start moving things already since maybe by that time, some parts of the house are already fixed. They said we should already be there on the 31st. I am soo excited! Yep, I am excited now. Haha. Man, it’s a lot of work! I saw my room too! It’s bigger than my room now. Hooray! I can’t wait to decorate and design it, lol. I hope they would allow me to paint it with the color I want to. The only thing I can say about the house is, WOW. I can now imagine the Christmas Party we could have there. We can run around for the relay game. ) Sobrang init din kahapon, grabe. Mabaliw na yata ako dun. Lakad lang ako ng lakad, paikot-ikot. Hinintay pa kasi namin si kuya Raymond kasama si Ate Therese. When they came, we toured them around the house. Then after, we went to San Benissa to check out Ate Therese’s condo unit. We just saw the model unit since the way to her building is still under construction. Ang ganda sobra sa San Benissa! Spanish-inspired nga. I felt like I was in Spain! SRSLYYYY! It was a cute community. Haha, cute. ) Parang American way of living. Bumili pa kami ng inumin since sobrang uhaw na kami at napakain pa tuloy ng La Paz Batchoy. Haha. We left around 6-ish.

Tapos, napag-alaman kong pupunta pala sila Kuya sa SM para manood ng sine. Ayun, napasama tuloy ako. We watched Meet the Spartans. Laugh trip. Pero di ko masyado nagustuhan na as in super. Di namin naabutan yung first 20 minutes kasi kumain pa kami sa Pizza Hut. But it wasn’t the real reason though. Ate Therese and I went to the comfort room which was on the 3rd floor. After, we saw this big black circle and we got curious what’s it for. It was asking which is faster to go down, 25-cents, 1-peso or 5-peso. LOL. Promise, sinasayang lang nila ang pera niyo. ) 5-peso was fastest. LOL. Parang sira lang. Law of gravity chuva daw, ngek. ) Because of that, we were late. ) So then, we left SM at 10-ish.

Kuya Jeff invited Ate Therese and Kuya to go to their gig at Mugen, Metrowalk even before we got at SM. I think we weren’t supposed to go at Mugen though, but my brother got pissed about something that I don’t know what. So we went. I was like, WHAT?! ) I was wearing a shirt, capri pants and slippers. It was really unexpected. I said, if I would have known that they were going there, I wouldn’t come. But after everything, I take that back. I KNEW I SHOULD BE THERE. ) I would definitely miss the half of my 2008 if I didn’t go!

Sobrang sobrang fun talaga! Lahat kami parang 1st time ulit to go in a bar(with bands ah) after we don’t know when. Ako siguro nung… basta di ko na matandaan, alam ko simula nung wala na sila kuya. I was surprised that Kuya Carlos was there with them too. Haha. So lahat kaming magkakapatid nandun(except for Kuya Ian of course, ’cause he’s in Davao). Wudyubeliv. Along with, Ate Gem, Ate Lhyn, Kuya Sonny and Kuya Ces. So there were 8 of us.

Sa bands kasi, usually 3rd set sila nagpapa-jam. Laging sinasabi ni Kuya Jeff na may magj-jam from Pure Instinct simula pa nung 1st at 2nd set nila. Syempre, na-excite naman kaming lahat kasi sobrang na-miss namin silang mag-perform! Sinasabi ko lagi kay Ate Therese during that time, “Nakakamiss yung ganito.” Kasi laging sila(Pure Instinct) ang pinapanood namin ‘pag lumalabas. Ngayon, sila na ang kasama namin pag nanonood.. ng ibang banda.

Third set came and the jamming started. OHYE. Nung tinawag na si Kuya Amon to play the guitar, and another guy, a Korean, to play the bass, we were all like screaming our lungs out! SOBRA. Lalo naman nung nag-perform na si Kuya. TALAGA NAMAN MEHN. Hataw! They played Play that Funky Music. OMG GRABE TALAGA. FANS CLUB KAMI! ) After, sigawan talaga! Si Ate Therese ang haba ng hair. Hahaha. Sabi naman ni Kuya Amon, napansin daw niya nung adlib na, bumagal daw siya. Taeng bumagal yan, ayos nga yung pag-perform niya dun. Bumagal pa ang kamay niya sa lagay na yun. Sayang hindi niya ginawa yung exhibition na ginagawa nila ni kuya Ian, yung ilalagay sa likod yung gitara. IDOL TALAGA! It would have been better though if both of them were there, but of course it’s not possible.

Akala namin yun na, tapos na, na si kuya Amon lang ang magj-jam. Pero syempre I was hoping na magj-jam pa si Kuya Sonny at Kuya Carlos. When the band said na one more jammer to go, sumigaw si ate Therese, “SONNY! CARLOS!”. Sabi ni Kuya Jeff, “Oo, two more pa pala.” Sigawan kameeee. ) Hahaha. Tapos nung tinawag na sila, we were telling them, “Go na! Goooo!” E si Kuya Sonny medyo wala na sa katinuan, haha. Hindi naman, kaya naman, sabog lang siya. )

Pag-akyat nila ng stage, kwento nila kuya, di daw nila alam anong song yung ip-perform nila, tapos nagulat na lang sila na Bring Me to Life yun. Haha. Edi go. SOBRANG sigaw kami ng sigaw dun! Ang ingay namin! Kami yung pinaka-maingay. Haha. Tapos si Ate Therese sumisigaw, “Magbalikan na kayo! Wala na akong gimik!” ) Totoo naman e, simula nung wala na sila, hindi na talaga nakakalabas. Sobrang tuwang-tuwa at masayang-masaya ako after. Nag-hug pa nga sila pagtapos e. Aw. Sayang hindi kumpleto. Pero okay lang, sobrang masaya naman kasi after how many months, nakita namin sila ulit mag-perform! Si Kuya Jeff nga, hindi siya kasama sa song, nakaupo lang sa tabi, di niya napigilang mapatayo at pumunta rin ng stage e. At some point, I knew they will miss what they were doing for almost 12 years of their lives. And we, also missed them. Sayang kasi talaga. They’re still young and they’re great at what they do. And with just that, everything fell apart. It was really really sad. I had a hard time accepting that ’cause all my life(srsly!), I’ve been used to seeing them perform a lot. They were my idols. I seriously don’t know how they do it, they’re really really good. And I’m not telling this because they’re my brothers/cousins. It’s because they really are good. Sobrang proud ako tuwing nakikita ko silang mag-perform. Sabi nga ni Kuya Sonny nun, “Nasa dugo natin yan ‘tol”. Every Wednesday tumutugtog sila Kuya Jeff dun. Btw, Kuya Jeff is my brother’s ex-bandmate and Kuya Amon’s high school friend, bestfriend. Sabi nila, dapat daw every Wednesday ganun. Then kami yung Wednesday group. ) Haha.

I can’t wait to see them perform again. I plan to make them perform on my debut next year, if ever possible. I would ultimately love that. And at last, kagabi rin! NAKITA KO NA RIN SUMAYAW SI KUYA CARLOS! ) WAHAHAHA. ) After the jamming kasi, the band played dance songs. Una, nakaupo pa si kuya dun, then I don’t remember sinong humila sa kanya para tumayo, then ayun, napasayaw na rin. OHYE. ) Hahaha. Ang saya, lahat kami sumasayaw nun. Since walang dance floor, dun sa may table. Haha. Nakahilera kami dun na para bang kami lang yung tao. We went home at around 3 to 4-ish. Sumabay ako kila Kuya Ces since andun si Kuya Carlos, they dropped us off at Quezon Ave. since his car was there, wala kasi siyang kasama mag-drive pauwi so ako na lang. Nag-drive thru pa kami sa jollibee. When we got home, mom and dad was awake. ) Tapos ayun, nagkwentuhan kami sa kwarto nila while eating. I love those moments, it’s priceless. These moments are priceless.

–
Btw, thanks for all your comments guys. 3 and a half years lang dun, tri-sem kasi. Mag-2nd year na siya e, konti na lang graduate na.” And I was telling my mom when we were in the house, “Napalayo naman ako.” She said, “Okay lang, kelangan lang maaga gumising.” So yeah. YEEE.

Can I chill for a minute?

March 14, last year high school pa lang ako. Finals namin. Ayon sa aking 2007 planner.

March 15, birthday na pala ni Val ngayon, HAPPY BIRTHDAY VAL! Finals pa rin namin.

Fast forward to today..
College ako. Hindi pa namin finals, hindi pa rin magtatapos ang school para sa ‘min. Madaming gagawin. Seryoso, sobrang busy these past few days. Actually weeks ago pa sobrang dami nang gagawin. Ngayon ko lang na-realize. Tipong ayoko nang humarap sa computer kasi hindi ko na magagawa yung mga iba kong gustong gawin, like movie marathons, TV watching, kulitan with my family, and stuff like that. Kapag nasa harapan kasi ako ng PC, nagiging anti-social ako. Pag may ginagawa ako dito, super focused talaga. Kaya nasisira mata ko e. Haha. At hindi na ako makatayo sa kinauupuan ko. Swear, ganun. Pero hindi pwedeng hindi akong humarap sa PC. Dahil MMA ang kurso ko at forever computer-related ito. Kelangan ko ring i-check araw-araw ang mail ko, ang online shop namin, ang multiply ko(dahil napag-iiwanan na ako, marami pa rin akong hindi nauupload), ang friendster ko(dahil ayoko naman na late reply sa comments), at ang blog ko.

Buti Friday ngayon, nakanood ako ng TV. Napanood ko ang ending ng Marimar. Grabe yun oh, pinagkagastusan talaga. Ang pretty talaga ni Marian Rivera. Haha. Anywayyyy, nagpunta ako dito sa PC para i-edit yung remaining pics nung batchmate ko dati na debut sa 28th. Para wala nang dagdag pproblemahin. Ma-stress pa ako e. LOLz. Pero hindi ko pa rin siya ginagawa. Uh-oh. Dapat kasi natutulog na rin ako ngayon. Kasi maaga pa ako bukas dahil may practice kami for our P.E. Dance on Monday na Tango. And magppractice na rin kami for our Finals which is HIPHOP! Ohyea! I so missed dancing this kaya sobrang natuwa ako nung nalaman kong yan ang finals namin! Hehe. Tapos after the practice, we’re gonna continue the shoot for Jamila’s debut. This time, video naman. For the last few weeks kasi, puro photoshoots. So video na gagawin namin ngayon. Then yung classmate namin nung high school said na baka may celebration yung kaklase namin ng birthday niya. Di pa namin alam kung meron.

Then on Sunday, my barkada and I will have another bonding moment at TriNoma. We’re gonna watch Step up 2, lunch then ayun. We planned on having this every month just to keep in touch. But I said hanggang 4pm lang siguro kasi Palm Sunday at syempre magsisimba kami dba.

Aside from that, meron pang PHILOMA(Philosophy of Man) project na is-shoot, FILIP13(Retorika) song adaption(lol, we chose With You by Chris Brown, my blockmate already made the lyrics), Business Math quizzes to worry about, World Literature classes(pinoproblema namin ang mga stories at poems, oo. haha), COMSK2x(Technical Literature) multimedia resume and project proposal, and uh.. yeah. I think that’s pretty much it. It’s a lot, I tell you. Plus the Course Approval thingy pa pala! Di pa approved yung enlisted subjects ko kahit na napasa ko na yung requirements sa academic adviser ko. Oh well. Tapos ano pa ba.. basta, yan. Hectic. So, sorry if hindi ako nakakadalaw sa mga blogs niyo. Malapit na rin ang end ng classes(yeah like April 19) so busy talaga. Pero I’m not stressing YET. I hope I won’t! Oh well.

I guess all of us are busy. Some update lang. Naaliw ako sa journal na ginawa namin for Filipino for almost a week, everyday! Ayos din pala ang may entry araw-araw. Pero siguro for myself lang? Haha. Wala lang, baka ma-trip-an ko sometime. Good thing there’s the Holy Week break! almost 4 days of break. Pero marami pa rin akong gagawin kahit break. Like go to church, celebrate the Holy week and academic stuff. Yeah.

good luck sa ‘ting lahat. random stuff lang. thanks for those who dropped by!

Go on girl!

Okayyyyyyyyyyy. I’m not a really really big Ne-yo fan but I reserved tickets for his concert on March 1. The February 29 concert is already sold out so I thought I won’t have any chance to go to his concert anymore. Fortunately, there’s a one night extension! Ohyea! Hahaha. I just wanna see him dance, if he does. And I like most of his songs so, why not? Haha. I texted people if they wanna go. Gladly, I found some! Ohyeaaa. Upper A, 1943php! Why notttt. Haha.

That’s it. I just wanna blog about this. Haha.

Ooh, midterms is next week already, btw! Nyayyyy. It’ll be fine. Fighting! Pak! I just realized, Spring Waltz na pala kanina pa! Shetttt! LOL. ) I totally forgotttt! Well anyway highway, yun lang. :p

Bad week.

This week is really bad for me. And I hate it. I never had a week like this in college. It makes me sad.

Monday started out really well. Our waltz dance presentation in our P.E. class went really good considering that we taught it to our group mates for less than an hour. And the rest of the day went well.

Tuesday was the start of the bad day. I came to school late and I kept on debating with myself whether or not I will come to my 09:40 Literature class because I came to school at about 10:20. I was 40 minutes late. I should have come to class. I knew I should have. I missed our group song singing which according to my classmates is equivalent to 4 quizzes. Their group got 100. Now, I got 0 and I was marked absent. Great. I knew I should have been there.

Wednesday was fine too. But of course, it wasn’t so great for me because my Tuesday sucked big time. I still regret the fact that I didn’t come to class. Now, I have a big lesson learned: to still come to class even if you’re 40 minutes late.

Thursday was steady. We had a free cut in our Literature class. That means I won’t see err… my blockmates. So my first class was Filipino. Everything went fine. Cerisse and CJ went to Shang after being uber bored from their 7 hour break since we have no Lit class. My head ached once again for solving Business Math problems in our laboratory class. And lastly, I got to pass my phenomenological paper for my Philosophy class. That was the end of my day. Nothing really special. I guess the only thing that kept me err…happy was listening to With You by Chris Brown. Lol. But still, I can’t get over about not coming to my Lit class. I missed a lot. Boo. Oh btw, this was the day that the La Sallian community showed their support to Jun Lozada, a person who knows a lot about the ZTE Broadband deal. So there was this vigil (if that’s what they call it, I forgot) outside Benilde and there were a lot of people with their candles with them. I didn’t know my way out when my dad called me and told me they were already there. So I went out to the side gate. Lol. Yeah, I think that’s what you can literally call it because it’s really at the side.

And lastly, today. Friday went really good. I think only Monday and Friday were the days that went well, the start and the end of my week. We had a photo shoot in Plaza Villarosa because Paul and Kevin brought their DSLR cameras with them. I also brought my Nikon coolpix digicam but of course, we used the DSLR cameras more. I finally got my hands on the Nikon D40x! I really want that camera! Before I was so used to the slim and small digital cameras but now, I’m more used to the big and bulky DSLR camera. I wish I had the money. But anyway, back to my Friday. We (Kevin, Camae, Paul and I) left our blockmates and went to SDA Building with a friend from DLSU. While we were on our way up to the 12th floor, I saw Champ of Hale with Bianca King, btw. They went inside the elevator going to the same floor as us. Nagkasabay pa. Haha. I was surprised when I saw Champ ’cause I know he already graduated. I didn’t notice Bianca King at first though. This was the real photo shoot. It was really fun and tiring. I never thought taking pictures was really tiring. We shot a lot of pictures since Paul brought his tripod with him. I will post some of the photos here as soon as I get it. We didn’t go to our COMSK2x class though. Bad. We didn’t even had a chance to study for our Business Math quiz But the quiz was okay for me, I guess. BMAT2x was my last class but my day didn’t end there. Kevin, CJ and I can’t get enough of the photo shoot thingy so we camwhored using the camera’s controller. Yana was there too. I also saw Anna, a fellow blogger, and they went to join us. She asked if the camera was mine but then again, it’s not. I wish it was. Hehe. After, we (Kevin, CJ and I) decided to shoot a multiple exposure (that’s what they call it, I’m not sure) photo in an empty classroom. And after a 12324154 shots, we went home.

My Friday would have gone well but I still consider my week bad. Something’s just making me feel bad about it. Probably about what happened in my Tuesday. I was really pissed off, you know. I really really was. Gah. What a lucky way to start off the Chinese New Year. I had my hair cut btw, had my side bangs back. My bad week doesn’t have to do anything with the hair cut, does it?

I hope next week would be fine.

Makinig ka.

TAGALOGLISH POST. Maaaring late para ikwento, pero para ‘to sa mga magko-kolehiyo sa darating na school year.

Ang simula ng taon ay nagpapahiwatig na bagong liwanag at bagong buhay para sa karamihan, ngunit para sa mga Senior-slash-graduating students, ito ay kinakatakutan at kakaba-kaba. Ito ang panahon ng paglabas ng mga resulta ng college entrance exams.

Tandang-tanda ko pa ang mga panahong ako ang nasa kalagayan nila. Talaga namang nakakakaba dahil dito nakasalalay ang future mo. Paano na lang kung hindi ako nakapasa sa dream school ko? Sa dream course ko? Paano na lang? Ano na ang gagawin ko? Malamang tinatanong din nila yan sa sarili nila. Dahil ako noong mga panahong iyon, paulit-ulit kong tinatanong yan sa sarili ko at patuloy na ginagambala ang magulong utak ko. Nakakatakot.

Naalala ko nung nakita ko ang Ateneo entrance exam results sa internet, wala dun ang pangalan ko. Nakakalungkot pero tanggap ko. Sabi ko sa sarili ko, “Ayos lang kahit hindi sa Ateneo, basta sa UP makapasa ako.” One dream school down.

Hinintay ko ang resulta ng UP. Kinakabahan pa rin ako. At ayun, dumating na rin ang pinakahihintay na resulta nang lahat: UPCAT results. Nakakalungkot pero hindi pa rin ako pumasa. Hindi ko inaasahan na pumasa ako dun dahil nung tinake ko yung exam na yun, sobrang sumakit ang ulo ko. Hindi ko kinaya ang Math at Science nila. Disappointed ako, syempre. Another dream school down. Wala na yung dalawa kong dream schools.

Halos gumuho ang mundo ko. Kung ako lang sana yung na-disappoint, ayos lang sakin. Pero.. I also let my parents down. Yun talaga yun eh. Yun yung inaalala ko. Paano na lang kung Ateneo at UP lang ang kinuhanan ko ng exam? Buti na lang sinabi kong mag-take ako ng UST.

Ayan, USTET results na. Natatakot ako baka hindi ako pumasa dahil dun sa talent test. Inaamin ko hindi ko ginalingan dun. Kaya ang kinalabasan, Academic Placement ako. Pero ayos lang, at least pasado. Masaya na ko nun.

Umaasa akong papasa ako ng Benilde. Oo, confident akong papasa ako nun. Pero naiisip ko nun, kung sakaling pumasa man ako, hindi rin naman ako dun mag-aaral. Nalulungkot ako dahil dun ko talaga gusto. Kahit malayo. Akala ko wala akong choice. Akala ko sa UST na ako mag-aaral. Akala ko kukuha na ako ng kursong malayong-malayo sa Arts at hindi ko naman gusto. Akala ko malulunod na ang mundo ko sa mga formulas at solutions ng Math at memorizations ng Science at iba pa. Akala ko..

Pero yun pala, nasa akin lang yung sagot. Matagal kong pinag-isipan kung saan ba talaga, kung saan ako magiging masaya, kung saan ako mag-aaral. Pinag-isipan kong mabuti iyon. I weighed everything down. Lahat ng mga views, bagay, rason, paraan, sinasabi ng ibang tao, sinasabi ko, at sinasabi ng puso ko. Mahalaga sa akin kung anong sasabihin ng mga magulang at kapatid ko kung pinili kong sabihin sa kanila na gusto ko mag-aral sa Benilde. Kaya pinag-isipan ko yung kamahalan ng tuition, layo, at lahat na. Ayoko kasing maging burden sa kanila pagdating sa mga ganung bagay. Hindi kasi nila ako pinagcocommute kaya alam kong hatid-sundo pa rin ako at alam kong magiging mahirap.

I prepared myself to everything that can happen. I was willing to do anything just to study in Benilde.

Ayoko kasi nung mag-aaral lang ako dahil kelangan. Mag-aaral ako dito at ito ang pag-aaralan ko dahil iyon ang gusto ng ibang tao para sa akin. Edi sila na lang dapat nag-aral diba? Hindi ako. Ako kasi yung taong gustong may ma-fulfill, lalo na ang pagiging masaya sa buhay. Gusto ko hanapin kung ano ang rason at purpose ko sa mundo. At gusto ko namuhay ako bilang ako. Ako yung taong maraming pangarap at gusto kong abutin lahat ng iyon. Ako yung taong pinag-iisipan ko ang kinabukasan ko, mahilig akong magplano.

Nagpapasalamat ako na may nagbukas ng mata ko at nagbigay sa akin ng lakas ng loob para gumawa ng final decision. Tinanong ko sakanya, “Does the heart ever go wrong in making decisions?” Sabi niya, depende. At kinwento ko ang buong kwento. Sinabi niya, “Don’t make distance a hindrance to your dreams. …3 or 4 years of driving you to and from school won’t hurt them. Tingnan mo ako, ilang beses ako ni-reject ng iba’t ibang universities dyan for Economics, pero hindi ako tumigil. Kaya nasa Singapore ako ngayon. Kahit malayo, pero dahil gusto ko, ayos lang. Proud ako sa’yo dahil alam mo kung anong gusto mo. At sana ipaglaban mo yan. I’m 100% at your back on this.” Hindi talaga yan yung sinabi niya dahil mas mahaba pa diyan yun, pero yan ang natatandaan kong thought.

Proud din ako sa sarili ko dahil alam ko kung anong gusto ko. Hindi lang kung anong gusto ng mga magulang ko at kung ano ang uso ngayon. Proud ako na naipakita kong kaya kong gumawa ng desisyon para sa sarili ko. Proud ako na naipaglaban ko iyon. Sabi ng kuya ko, “Grabe si Cha ‘tol noh, tayo nun basta makapasa at makagraduate okay na. Pero si Cha alam niya talaga gusto niya.” Napa-smile lang ako dun.

Mababaw para sa iba na iniyakan ko ‘tong bagay na ‘to pero mahalaga siya para sa akin.

Iniisip ko kung hindi ko ginawa ito, malamang magiging iba ang buhay ko. Hindi ko makikilala ang mga taong kilala ko ngayon at sobrang nagpapasalamat ako na nakilala ko sila. Sila kasi yung mga taong konting panahon mo pa lang nakakasama pero parang matagal na kayong magkakakilala. Iniisip ko rin kung ganito ako magiging kasaya ngayon kung sa ibang college ako nag-aral. Iniisip ko rin kung nakapasa ako ng UP o Ateneo, ganito rin kaya ang buhay ko? Malamang iba. Ibang-iba.

Kaya masaya ako kung nasaan ako ngayon. Hindi ko talaga pinagsisihan yung ginawa ko at nalaman ko ang sobrang suporta ng family ko sa akin kahit ano pa man ang gusto ko. Akala ko magiging mahirap, pero hindi pala.

Marami akong natutunan sa experience kong ‘yan. Grabe noh? Siguro maliit lang na bagay yan sa iba at parang binabalewala lang nila, pero sa akin, sobrang big deal. Iba-iba nga tayo bilang tao. Lahat tayo iba-iba ang mga pananaw at paninindigan.

Kaya sa mga estudyante dyan na ganito ang nararamdaman kagaya sa akin ngayon, alam ko ang nararamdaman niyo. Trust me, I know. And the heart doesn’t go wrong in making this kind of decision. Follow what your heart tells you, you won’t regret it. I swear. I can attest to that!

It doesn’t matter if your choice is wrong or right for as long as you love what you do and happy and content, it is never wrong for believing in your dreams and wanting to achieve it has never been wrong.

–

These are just some of the quotes that inspired me during these times.

Centuries of wisdom never improved on this advice: listen to your heart.

People are afraid to pursue their most important dreams, because they feel that they don’t deserve them, or that they’ll be unable to achieve them. We, their hearts, become fearful just thinking of loved ones who go away forever, or or moments that could have been good but weren’t or of treasures that might have been found but were forever hidden in the sands. Because, when these things happen, we suffer terribly.

To realize one’s destiny, is a person’s only obligation.

“My heart is afraid that it will suffer,” the boy told the alchemist one night as they looked up at the moonless sky.
“Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search for its dreams, because every second of the search is a second’s encounter with God and with eternity.”

“Wherever your heart is, that is where you’ll find your treasure.”

-The Alchemist

–

I once read that few people follow what their heart says because they are afraid to take the risk and they think that they’d just end up getting hurt. And the heart doesn’t like to suffer, so they choose safer risks. But the fear of suffering is worse than suffering itself. The heart bleeds more when you don’t follow what it says. After I read that I asked, “But will they be happy?” I swore I won’t be like those people, but I think I might end up to be just like them.

I always believe in listening to what my heart says, I guess I always will. But I will never get to follow what it says. I never got to follow what it said, when I had the chance and the choice in my hands.
-me

That was me back when I was a senior highschool, probably just starting to fill up my college application forms. Found that on my old wallpapers folder.

First day and loved ones.

So yeah, classes already started! We’re now on our 3rd term and it’s my first time being deblocked. I miss my block, DV6. I have different blockmates in every subject now but I have blockmates in one subject that are also my blockmates in other subjects. And even if I have 4 of my friends with me, still it’s different when you really know the people in your class. It’s like I’m starting college all over again. I guess I had a hard time letting go of my high school years. The first two terms are just like extension of my high school days. I got scared at first but in the long run, I got used to it. And it seems like it’s hard to let go all over again. It’s hard to adjust and accept change. But it’s just the way it is. Maybe like what I felt then, got scared and in the long run, get used to this deblocking thing. My brother said being deblocked is nicer because you get to meet a lot of people. But I’m not that friendly! Lol. Maybe I am, but I’m a shy person. Haha. :p Anyway, damnit this kind of seemed dramatic! Hahaha. It’s not supposed to be, okay? Haha.

Anyway, my first day was okay. I have P.E., which is Dance, as my first subject. It’s okay. I just hope we reach the Modern Dance part which is hiphop or street dance. Nyahaha. I really really really miss dancing! Anyway, we have folk dances first. Grrr. T_T I thought I was done with that back in elementart with all the field demo thing. Hahaha. The next is ballroom which is okay too ’cause I got to dance waltz and swing back in high school for the prom. And my mom taught me cha-cha before ’cause I remember back then she was a ballroom dancer. Haha. We were dismissed earlier than our time so we spent our time in the study area. We found some of our DV6 blockmates there. We hanged out and it was really fun. Super laugh trip! We were really loud! I hope there’s one subject that our classmates are mostly DV6 but I guess that’s not going to happen for me or for us. T_T Although it happened to our other DV6 blockmates because there’s this one subject that almost half of the class are DV6. Aghh. Super saya nila! I miss them. But anyway, it’s okay. There’s a next time! :p

Then we went to our Reconse class. I like this class. We had an activity about getting to know our blockmates by passing paper around and ah basta! Yun na yun. Haha. The class looks fun. After, we had our break. We were supposed to eat at Mcdo but there were a lot of people so we went to KFC instead. My 2 HS batchmates/3rd term classmates went with us and most of us are DV6. My blockmates know them especially my Harry-Potter-looking classmate. Haha. But I haven’t introduced the other one to them except dun sa dalawa din naming kasama sa subjects.

After eating, Kevin(Harry Potter, lol), Camae and I went to the dorm of our batchmates just at the back of our school. I missed them! Especially Jhem! Super laugh trip din! I’m looking forward to another reunion this year. And most of my batchmates are turning 18 this year so most probably I’m going to see them often.

Then after we went to our COMSK2x class which I found boring because I was getting really sleepy. But the weird thing was my heartbeat was really fast even before the class started and I thought I was just tensed but it continued until the class ended. I don’t know why. I don’t get nervous with things like those. Kinakabahan lang ako pag may mangyayari na hindi ko alam or what. Basta, mahirap i-explain. Basta may feeling lang ako sa mga bagay bagay. Haha. So after that class, Business Math was next, in the same classroom. I like the class too. I don’t know why but maybe because of the prof and the people. Then my brother texted me and said that I go out once our class ends because he’s already outside waiting. Ang aga! Haha.

My brother and I were having fun while on the way to the office but I kind of slept a bit when we were near the office already. Tapos tinanong ni mommy si kuya kung anong oras niya susunduin si Ate Therese, girlfriend niya. Then she said that we should go home right after my bro picks Ate Therese from their office because she’s going to say something to my dad because she can’t say it to him on the phone. She can’t have the courage to tell it to him on the phone. And my bro and I were like, “ano yun?”

See, my uncle, my dad’s brother was in the hospital since ermm, I don’t know when. Maybe December last year. He’s not in good condition. He had a heart attack or something. And things were fine as New Year started because from what I know, he was brought back home or hmm, I’m not really sure. Pero alam ko naging okay naman kasi bumalik ng Davao yung pinsan ko na anak niya at wife ng pinsan ko. Then my uncle was brought back to the hospital and ayun, bumalik agad ulit sila. So they were all there. Yesterday, when we went to church for the Sunday mass, I even prayed for them. But I guess this was really going to happen and all of them there were already ready of what may happen because the doctor already said that my uncle isn’t in good shape. So… my uncle passed away kaninang hapon. When my mom said that our uncle passed away, me and my bro were like, “ano?!” It’s kind of shocking, sad and kind of hard to accept. Grabe. Then I asked my mom, “anong oras?” She said, “Sinabi sakin kaninang mga 3:30 pero siguro nangyari yun earlier.” Then it made me think, sobrang kinakabahan ako ng walang rason since 2:30 until our class ended ng 3:30. I was like, “grabe.” May times kasi na kinakabahan lang ako pag may mangyayari talaga na unexpected or di ko gusto or what.

The last time I saw him was when we went to Cotabato last September I think. We even stayed at their house. Just like what happened to my aunt. She died last year and before that, I last saw her when we went to General Santos and even stayed at their house. Lahat sila may mga last times ako with them tapos recent pa. Just even before they pass away. Even when my grandmother in my mother’s side passed away, I didn’t expect her to go that year, 2006. They even stayed here in Manila for how many months then as summer came, they went back to Cotabato para ayusin yung mga things para sa wedding ng uncle ko, the youngest in their family. She was even there in my first JS Prom. And just like that, bam! She passed away even before my uncle got married. It was sad really. People in our clan passed away for 3 consecutive years. 2006. 2007. 2008. T_T Sana lang hindi siya masundan agad next year. T_T

Boink boink boink, back!

Hello! LOL. I’m backkkkkkkkk because my much-awaited break is finally here! Yay for Christmas break! Finals are done and so is the course card distribution. It wasn’t much of a curse card day for me because to my relief, I passed all subjects. Although I got a 1.5 and a 1.0(Algeb!), at least, I passed. And my Communication Skills laboratory prof didn’t drop me from his class! Yay! I even got a 3.0, hahaha. My 2nd term grades isn’t as good as my 1st term but at leasttttt, yeah. Lol.

Hmm. It’s December 23 already. Only 2 days before Christmas. Happy Holidays, btw! XD I can’t think of anything to write here. Lol. I just blogged for some updates, if you call this an update. Lol.

Hmm.. anyways, I gotta go eat. Then, I’ll continue watching “Coffee Prince”. It’s a koreanovela. Hahaha. :p

Byers. XD

-
[edit]
I wanna finish collecting my Starbucks stickers. 8 left! Gah. I’ll make sure I have the planner by tomorrow!!! Yay for double stickers.

-
I’m loving the Zara hoodie a friend gave me for Christmas. Yay! Pambawas daw sa Christmas wish list. Nyahaha. Tenksyouuu! XD Lol, I remember I didn’t have a chance to say thank you when she gave it to me.

-

We fetched my brother(Kuya Ian) and his wife(Ate Liza) from the airport. They’re from Davao. Dang, we waited for almost 2 hours for them. Lol. I’m so sleepyyy. I got home just now(2:03 am). But anyway.. yay for they’re spending Christmas with us! Hehe. And I’m going to continue watching Coffee Prince. Haha.

-
I just finished this now. Hehe. At last, I had the time to color it. It’s my first time with digital coloring so.. pasensya. Hehe. Click to enlarge.

Merry Christmas everyone!

[/edit]